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Before You Read On by ~RockerByBaby:iconRockerByBaby:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Before you read on, you should know;
No this is no poem. Know this is moreso..
Well, I don’t know. My feelings
won’t show.

So I just smile to dress my gritted teeth
Until noone sees what lies underneath--
I’m naked, I’m heartless, I can not bleed.

So I’m juggling moods upon this swing
Before someone catches authentic me;
A fairy tale in reality.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconrockerbybaby:

Author's Comments

Perhaps why I don't maintain my secret thoughts to write every day that I can.








Still forever & for always, immortal:love:

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconxxpurechaosxx:
=XxPureChaosxX Jul 1, 2009, 1:24:00 PM
This is an absolutely brilliant piece! The first stanza is my favourite, it's got such a nice flow to it. It's a really interesting work. The rhyming is nice; simple and effective.
:+fav:

--
The quality of my life would be greatly reduced if I did not have nostrils.

My imaginary friend is informing me that you have serious mental health issues.
:iconamberous:
~Amberous Jul 1, 2009, 1:37:08 PM
Genius.

--
Time for Change
:iconrockerbybaby:
~RockerByBaby Jul 1, 2009, 9:47:56 PM
Well that means alot, thank you!:)


:love:

--
Across the face of the Earth, her ruby cheeks shone; Winds of whisper buried seeds of rumor, made her secret well grown.
:iconrockerbybaby:
~RockerByBaby Jul 1, 2009, 9:51:34 PM
Your attention to my writing despite me neglection to my deviations means very much.:)

That was a nice comment:hug: Hope you're doing okay.


:heart:

--
Across the face of the Earth, her ruby cheeks shone; Winds of whisper buried seeds of rumor, made her secret well grown.
:iconamberous:
~Amberous Jul 2, 2009, 2:09:15 AM
Really is. It has a sublime fluidity in the first stanza, probably because of the repetition of know and no and how they sound the same. I liked the image of dressing your teeth with a smile, matches the need to hide.

--
Time for Change
:iconrockerbybaby:
~RockerByBaby Jul 5, 2009, 12:15:42 AM
You're so kind; things like this wouldn't be written or even have nearly as much significance without compliments and help such as yours.. :hug:


:flowerpot:

--
Across the face of the Earth, her ruby cheeks shone; Winds of whisper buried seeds of rumor, made her secret well grown.
:iconblue-strawberry:
~blue-strawberry Jul 8, 2009, 8:21:14 AM
you're so good at rhyme you know. your rhymes are so natural you don't notice they're there - you notice the poem sounds good and flows well and then you realise why. I think that's how rhymes should be.

I think you nailed this feeling as well, so all round, great job. :)

--
You have four nostrils, just to let you know.
:iconrockerbybaby:
~RockerByBaby Jul 11, 2009, 11:11:53 PM
I agree. All the more reason for that compliment to be all that more of a compliment.:)

Thank you forever!:blowkiss:

--
Across the face of the Earth, her ruby cheeks shone; Winds of whisper buried seeds of rumor, made her secret well grown.
:iconbeautyisinthedark:
~beautyisinthedark Aug 14, 2009, 5:21:42 PM
I agree with blue-strawberry - you're a natural at rhymes! I'm jealous. :D
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